Okay, I had made a previous post on my project a long time ago. Back when I did this there was a lot of controversy around the story line. I think I have perfected it for my map. This is a story with three sides, here it is so far:

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The Human Side:
The year is 2534. You are the first of your kind, a Spartan-III. Marine Jacob Keyes found you, to help him assassinate Flipyap, a grunt deacon. Flipyap is currently located on the planet Arctys Novalisp to discuss armor upgrades with the old Prophets of Tolerance and Restraint. However, yourself, Spartan III A173, or Dawn for short, have been inserted with marine Jacob Keyes to silently eliminate the grunt leader. While it would be more conventional to launch a fleet, the UNSC is thinly stretched with battles all over various theaters of war. In addition, a Covenant assault carrier has taken position in geostationary orbit, so you're on your own.

The UNSC frigate Remorse launches your pelican and another carrying support on the dark side of the planet, far enough from the lethal Assault Carrier on the other side. Due to the weight of your prototype armor, your pelican can only hold yourself and Keyes. The other contains 12 elite marines from the 206th Environmental Combat unit. On the trip down, however, their pelican takes damage from an unexpected blizzard and crashes. Once deployed, your HUD displays the last known position of the other team. Your first objective is to find the marines, and continue the mission.

After you find the marines, you continue the mission to take out Flipyap. But you and Keyes realize you forgot something. The extra sniper ammo. You must now take out Flipyap with one sniper bullet left. You see Flipyap. You shoot. You hit, however now the entire Covenant army now knows where you are. Then the two of you run to the extraction point. But you two run into a weird building. Dawn being the spartan that he is runs full speed ahead into the building. While Keyes is trying to catch up, a forerunner door closes between them.

Dawn is own his own now. Dawn ventures into the wierd forerunner building to meet an enemy that the covenant worse fear.(Dawn dies.) Keyes is now forced to continue without Dawn. You are now seeing out of the eyes of Keyes, he finds a covenant specture, and steals it. He then races to the extraction point. But he crashes and begins to face off endless waves of covenant until ECHO 414 can come and pick him up.


The Covenant Side:
Now, the Prophets don't like having any opposition, as referenced by their covering up of and genocidal attempts against Humanity. Flipyap happens to be their next target, as if he gains more power he could be a serious pain in the butt. And thus, it was a matter of convenience for the Hierarchs (Truth, Mercy, Regret) to send two of the Prophets they replaced to meet with oblivious Flipyap and kill him, destroying any opportunity for another Grunt Rebellion.


The Forerunner Side:
Did you know the planet Arctys Novalisp was once a old forerunner storage facility? A place where the forerunners stored flood for examination, and their ultimate weapon, just in-case the halos were destroyed. Just a random glacier, in the middle of know where. The forerunners thought. No one would ever find it, until now.
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I'm not going to show pictures of my project or anything. This is just your opinion on the story line. If you say it sucks, please tell me why so I can change it. Thanks!

hmm thats just a guess but i think you wont show any pics because you havnt any progress to show

Overall concept is pretty good, although the target is a bit.... meh. Grunts aren't allowed to be important. >:P

Maybe replace Flipyap with an Elite Councillor.

Quite honestly don't like the story much becuase of three main reasons:

1. Keyes and a spartan 3? Doesn't sound right in my book.

2. Take out a Grunt thats discussing armor upgrades? pssh. Take out the prophets, thats what you want.

3. Why would you seriously only load one bullet into your sniper rifle before you fly off? Its simply unrealistic, just have a dead marine and a sniper rifle next to him at the sniper place.

I would reconsider some of the things going on in this mission tbh, some of them are just to unrealistic and others are just plain odd.

I have very little progress because every time I tell someone the story they point out errors I never noticed, so I have to go back and change the map itself to match the story.


Possibly. I don't know. The thing is that, I like to think of that grunt as the leader of all grunts. As the Arbiter is to the elites, as Tartarus is to the brutes.

Perhaps a counselor of enough people reject it.

Answers in red.
Edited by pepzee on Jan 9, 2011 at 05:12 PM

In the Covenant hierarchy, the most highly ranking Grunt is still worth less than the most worthless of Prophets.

Possible Revision?



The Human Side:
The year is 2534. You are the first of your kind, a Spartan-III. [UNNAMED OFFICER] has tasked you with the elimination of a particularly high-ranking Elite Warlord, located on the planet Arctys Novalisp. Spartan-A173, Dawn, has been inserted with [UNNAMED OFFICER] to eliminate the target.

The UNSC Remorse has launched dropships to the far side of the planet, far enough from the Assault Carrier to go largely unnoticed. Your Pelican has been heavily modified for the mission, and due to numerous sensor packages and advanced communications, there is only room for you and the officer. The other contains several ODST's from the 206th Environmental Combat unit. Their Pelican is damaged during insertion, and lost somewhere in the blizzard. Once deployed, your HUD displays the last known position of the other team. Your first objective is to find the marines, then continue the mission.

After locating the marines, you continue the mission to remove the Warlord. Due to weight restrictions, ammo is minimal, allowing for only a single magazine of rifle ammo. The Covenant are alerted to your presence after taking the shot, forcing the two of you into a run for the extraction point. The two of you take shelter in a nearby structure, but are seperated at the entrance, leaving them to fend for themselves. The officer is now forced to continue without Dawn. You are now playing as [UNNAMED OFFICER], and after locating a Covenant Spectre, he begins the journey to the extraction point. But he crashes and begins to face off endless waves of covenant until ECHO 414 can come and pick him up.

@higuy, isn't this halo custom edition?

Who should the [UNNAMED OFFICER] be? I want him to be someone heroic. Like captain Macmillan from CoD4. This is why originally chose Captain Keyes. However if you know of some other decorated officer in the UNSC, please tell me.

Uh, yeah? You have failed to see the point of my post which was giving criticism to his story to help better improve it, thus creating a more enjoyable story and experience for the player.

Ah, sorry about that, I misread it.

You could make one up. Let's call him Jack.

Jack... What about his last name?

off? nah jk lol, last names are the hardest part.

Sounds a bit corny having forgotten the extra sniping ammo. It should be that most of the ammo has been used up finding the marines and getting to flipyaps location

Ya, I thought so. I also thought that using Keyes was a little corny too. However now I'm using Jack [Insert last name here].

Any other suggestions for Jacks last name? Or any name for that matter.

This might be a bit corny too, but at the beginning you and "Jack" get saperated, and "Jack" has all of the ammo. You are then forced to use these:
http://hce.halomaps.org/index.cfm?fid=3205
Then you regroup with "Jack" and continue on.
The reason I'm doing this is to add an extra emphasis on stealth.

answer in green.

For the snipe use a new sniper that can only chamber 1 round ans when you are running to the peli while on the ship you dropped the ammo and don't have time to pick it up.

Cousto? Daniels?

No.

could just call him johnson. People would remember him, already have the skin bitmaps (if you plan on remaking him with different armor) & he is a badass.. >:D

Jack Johnson? I think that name sounds a little too common.

I'm just looking for a name that is a little unique. Jack is fine, but I'm still looking for a better last name.

Also, I have restarted production on this for a 4th time now. The original BSP I was using was too small.

That means that it will be Coldsnap exclusive! Not unless any one can find me a better snowy map to work with.

Jack Ryan (bioshock 1 reference here)

Jack Skinner.

jack norris


032 Mendicant Bias i lol'd at jesse nice avatar quote

Edited by milkkookie on Jan 11, 2011 at 08:59 PM

Jack Ryan could work, but then he would have two first names. Jack Skinner, maybe, if there's nothing else to chose from.

Is worth less than Minor Elites and Minor Brutes. And even the highest Elites (assuming there's nothing about Councilor) are below Minor Prophets.

Also, I highly doubt they would be low ranking Prophets if they were at one point 2 of the 3 highest Prophets in the Covenant.

It's extremely illogical and stupid to have armies of elites and other random infantry to protect a single grunt who is worth less than most of them. Also, if the prophets wanted him dead then why the hell would the UNSC still send someone to kill him instead?

jack off ;) haha,
but i didnt mean johnson as his last name. I meant the actual character johnson.

Agh..sorry for the late respones...

Anyways, that's kind of a cool plot there.... is this going to be NGMT work?

This story needs a redo.

If YOU want to go ahead.


Jack Skellington.

That's what I was aiming for.



Sure, I would love to hear the story.

If there is a rail sniper tag, I would use it. But there is none so I will use what I have.

That is an okay name, I might just use that, not unless something better comes up.

Maybe, if DarkAvengerX wants it to be.

Wow really? HahaYou could just make/request one. Or use the one IMbrokeRU/Gamma made.*INSTA-POOL-3000* How many people actually know who Jack Skellington is? Much less seen The Nightmare Before Christmas?Who's NGMT?
Edited by Skidrow925 on Jan 12, 2011 at 06:10 PM

jack black

@Skidrow
It's a small mapping team that banded together a little while ago

You know the Barrett is over 500 years old by then???????????????
Also umm.... this sound's a bit to much like COD4 for me...